This board being a santcuary for us bleeding-heart liberals, I thought I'd post this handy glossary of republican terms, just so we can all understand what they're really saying. It was compiled by Kartina vanden Heuvel of The Nation:

ACTIVIST JUDGE, n. A judge who attempts to protect the rights of minorities--most especially homosexuals--against the tyranny of the majority.

ALARMIST, n. Any respected scientist who understands the threat of global warming.

ALLIES, n. Foreigners who do what Republicans tell them to do.

ALTERNATIVE ENERGY SOURCES, n. New locations to drill for oil and gas.

BALANCED, adj. 1. favoring corporations (a more balanced approach to the environment.); 2. favoring conservatives (fair and balanced reporting).

BI-PARTISANSHIP, n. When conservative Republicans work together with moderate Republicans to pass legislation Democrats hate.

CHECKS & BALANCES, pl. n. An antiquated concept of the Founding Fathers that impedes autocratic efficiency; see also REFORM

CIVIL LIBERTIES, n. Unnecessary privileges that you aren't afraid of losing unless you are a God-hating, baby-killing, elitist liberal who loves Saddam Hussein more than your own safety.

CLARIFY, v. Repeating the same lie over and over again.

CLEAN, adj. The word used to modify any aspect of the environment Republican legislation allows corporations to pollute, poison, or destroy.

CLIMATE CHANGE, n. Global warming, without that annoying suggestion that something is wrong.

CONVICTION, n. Making decisions before getting the facts, and refusing to change your mind afterward.

DEMOCRATIC ALLY, n. Any democracy, monarchy, plutocracy, oligarchy or dictatorship--no matter how ruthless--that verbally supports American diplomatic and economic goals.

DEREGULATE, v. To pursue greed and exploitation.

DETAIN, v. Hold in a secret place without recourse to law and treat in any manner one wishes.

ECONOMIC PROGRESS, n. 1. Recession; 2. Rising unemployment; 3. Minimum-wage freeze.

ECONOMIC RECOVERY, n. When three out of five software engineers who lost their jobs to outsourcing are able to find part-time work at Wal-Mart.

ELECTION FRAUD, n. Counting every vote.

FAIRER, adj. Regressive.

FAITH, n. The stubborn belief that God approves of Republican moral values despite the preponderance of textual evidence to the contrary.

FAITH COMMUNITY, n. Evangelicals, because they are saved, and hawkish conservative Jews, because they are useful. Israel is the bait-on-the-hook just waiting for God to take that Rapturous bite.

FAMILY VALUES, n. 1.Oppression; 2 Hatred

FISCAL CONSERVATIVE, n. A Republican who is in the minority.

FREEDOM, n. What Arabs want but can't achieve on their own without Western military intervention. It bears a striking resemblance to chaos.

GOD, n. Senior presidential advisor.

GROWTH, n. The justification for tax cuts for the rich. What happens to the deficits when Republicans cut taxes on the rich.

HONESTY, n. Lies told in simple declarative sentences: "Freedom is on the march."

HUMBLE FOREIGN POLICY, n. The invasion of any sovereign nation whose leadership Republicans don't like.

HUMBLED adj. What a Republican says right after a close election and right before he governs in an arrogant manner.

INSURGENT, n. Armed or unarmed, violent or non-violent Iraqi on the receiving end of an American rocket blast or bullet spray, regardless of age, gender or political affiliation.

JOB GROWTH, n. Increased number of jobs an individual has to take after losing earlier high-paying job.

MODERNIZE, v. To do away with, as in modernizing Social Security, labor laws, etc.

MORAL VALUES, n. Hatred of homosexuals dressed up in Biblical language.

MANDATE, n. What a Republican claims to possess when only 49 percent of the voting public loathes him instead of 51 percent.

THE MEDIA, n. Immoral elitist liberally-biased traitors who should leave Republicans alone so they can complete God's work on Earth in peace and quiet, behind closed doors.

OBSTRUCTIONIST, n. Any elected representative who dares to question Republican radicals on the issue of the day.

OWNERSHIP SOCIETY, n. 1) A society where you're on your own. 2) A society where one-half of society owns the other half. 3) The euphemism used by robber barons and their political lackeys to promote or justify the extreme concentration of wealth into the hands of a powerful few.

PARTIAL BIRTH ABORTION, n. A non-medical term invented by anti-choice zealots that refers to a broad class of abortion procedures; employed as a first step in reversing Roe v. Wade.

PHILOSOPHY, n. Religion.

PRIVATIZE, v. To steal the resources of the national community and give them to private business.

POLITICAL CAPITAL, n. What a Republican president receives as a result of a razor-thin margin of victory in an election.

PRESS CONFERENCE, n. A rare event designed for the President to brag about his prowess as a leader while simultaneously answering prepared questions and dodging difficult ones.

REFORM, v. To eliminate, as in tort reform (to eliminate all lawsuits against businesses and corporations) or Social Security and Medicare reform (to eliminate these programs altogether).

SIMPLIFY, tr. v. To cut the taxes of Republican donors.

SOCIAL SECURITY, n. Broker security.

SPREADING PEACE, v. Preemptive war.

STAY THE COURSE, v. To relentlessly pursue a disastrous policy regardless of how far conditions deteriorate.

STRICT CONSTRUCTIONIST, n. A judge with extremely conservative beliefs, who interprets laws in a manner that fits his/rarely-her own belief systems, while maintaining that this was the original intent of the law.

SUPPORT THE MILITARY, v. To praise Bush when he sends our young men and women off to die for no reason and without proper body armor.

TERRORIST, n. 1. Any member of the Iraqi insurgecy, defending their homeland. 2. Rush Limbaugh

UNITER, n. A Leader who brings together his followers by fomenting hatred for anyone who disagrees with him.

VERY CLEAR, adj. Modifier used immediately before any preposterous explanation or ludicrous rationale.